


S.O.S

by Sansaismyhomie



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Humor, Mamma Mia - Freeform, The “Other Male Characters” are Dickon Tarly and Theon Greyjoy, jonsa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:23:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18440852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sansaismyhomie/pseuds/Sansaismyhomie
Summary: Sansa rocked back and forward on the bathroom floor. Her hands tangled up in her hair covering her face with her arm, just rocking.“It’s going to be ok. Everything is going to be fine” she kept reassuring herself.The alarm she set on her phone went off and she jumped up. She was as far away from the sink as she could get while still being in the bathroom; she took one step toward the sink, then another, then another, it was the longest walk she had ever taken even thought it was only a couple feet. She got to the sink and looked down at the counter where her pregnancy test was.Two pink lines what does that mean? She pulled the box out of the trash to reread the side containing the instructions. Why didn’t she spring for the one that spells it out pregnant or not pregnant, it would of been so much easier now.She read through the instructions, going over every word carefully until she got to the end, the results, one line not pregnant two lines pregnant“Shit!”This is the same story just a new summary[Title and sub-titles from “S.O.S” by ABBA]





	1. Where Are Those Happy Days

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mashup of Game of Thrones characters with the storyline from the movie Mamma Mia. There will be lots of time jumping so don't be shy about commenting if it does not make sense. I have finished about seven chapters already so I should be updating consistently.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!!

Sansa rocked back and forward on the bathroom floor. Her hands tangled up in her hair covering her face with her arm, just rocking.

 

“It’s going to be ok. Everything is going to be fine” she kept reassuring herself.

 

The alarm she set on her phone went off and she jumped up. She was as far away from the sink as she could get while still being in the bathroom; she took one step toward the sink, then another, then another, it was the longest walk she had ever taken even thought it was only a couple feet. She got to the sink and looked down at the counter where her pregnancy test was.

 

Two pink lines what does that mean? She pulled the box out of the trash to reread the side containing the instructions. Why didn’t she spring for the one that spells it out pregnant or not pregnant, it would of been so much easier now.

 

She read through the instructions, going over every word carefully until she got to the end, the results, _one_ _line_ _not_ _pregnant_ _two_ _lines_ _pregnant._

 

“Shit!”

 

**Five**   **Years** **Later**

Lyanna was twirling in her new gown, “Look mommy, I’m a pincess!”

 

“Yes you are my love” Sansa softly giggled at her daughters mispronunciation of princess, “but we are going to have to take that off soon because we need to keep it clean for Uncle Robb’s wedding next week.”

 

Margaery walked into the fitting rooms and clasped her hand over her mouth, “Aww, you are adorable. You are going to be the perfect flower girl.”

 

“I’m not a flower girl, I’m a pincess” she twirled again to show just how much of a princess she was.

 

Margaery laughed, “Well of course you are, your a flower fairy princess.”

 

Lyanna’s eyes opened wide with the excitement at her newly formed title. She twirled so much she ran into a mirror and then stopped to look around embarrassed. Sansa covered her smile with her hand and turned to her friend to help Lyanna feel less embarrassed.

 

“So have you tried on your bridesmaids dress yet?” Margaery asked, practically jumping up and down with joy.

 

“No not yet, I thought it would be best for Lya to try on her dress first and I was going to wait for you.”

 

“Well I’m here now so no need to wait, get in there” she pushed Sansa into a curtained off changing stall, “I’ll stay out her and watch Lya.”

 

Sansa looked at the dress on the hanger, it was beautiful but Sansa had not put on a formal dress since before she was pregnant with Lyanna. Her body had bounced back pretty well, but it was not the same body she had before and she was definitely more self conscious now. She ran her hand down the soft material and then slipped it off the hanger.

 

“Ok here I come” she said as she stepped beyond the curtain and into the main part of the room.

 

Margaery inhaled, “Wow.”

 

“Mommy you’re a pincess too.”

 

Sansa knelt down and kissed the top of her daughters head, “Thank you sweetie.”

 

“Seriously Sansa you look amazing” Margaery’s gaze followed her as she went to stand in front of the mirror, “I should have been one of those brides who makes all their bridesmaids wear hideous dresses so they look better.”

 

Sansa laughed at her friend. She did admit this dress was rather flattering, even beautiful. The v-neck was not to low, but still sexy, and the chiffon fabric swayed around her ankle even when she wasn’t moving. It was clean, modern, and romantic; just like Margaery; but the color was all Robb, grey, Stark colors. Many family’s did not follow the traditions of long ago but the Starks did, they still had a color and house words. They were connected to the past, to connect them to the future and Sansa felt safe and warm in the color of her family.

 

“Do you love it?” Margaery came up behind her resting her chin on Sansa shoulder looking into the mirror.

 

“Yes” Sansa looked at her feet shyly. It was hard after all these year to admit that she looked good.

 

“Great! How about you both get changed and then we can go get some lunch?” Margaery looked down at Lyanna with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Yay, lunch” Lyanna jumped up and down; and Sansa thought it was probably a good idea to get her daughter out of the dress before something bad happened.

 

They walked down the street looking for a place to eat, “What about The Wall.”

 

“Margaery! That’s a bar, we can’t go there.”

 

“Your right, your right. What about that new sushi place around the corner?”

 

“Yuck” Lyanna spat.

 

“Picky, picky. Ok little miss princess where do you want to go?”

 

“Pincesses have tea at the Rose Garden, can we have lunch there mama?”

 

Sansa looked at Margaery, who shrugged her shoulders and nodded.

 

“Sure.”

 

They walked around the corner and ended up at the Rose Garden, they served a wide selection of teas and finger sandwiches, along with scones and other treats. It was always packed on the weekend, but luckily they had made their fitting appointment on a Wednesday afternoon so there were very few people there today. They got seated right away, looked over the menu, and then ordered quickly. Sansa and Margaery had been here enough times that they both knew what they wanted without looking at the menu to long.

 

“So how did Aryas fitting go?” Sansa asked with a sadistic smile.

 

Margaery rolled her eyes, “Not as well as yours I can say that much. She is not happy about wearing a dress.”

 

“I bet” Sansa added knowingly.

 

“She is better about it now that Gendry is walking her down the isle, not that she was upset that Sam was walking her, but you know she likes impressing Gendry.”

 

“I can’t believe you talked Robb into adding Gendry as a groomsmen just to get Arya in a dress.”

 

The tea was set in front of them and they each poured themself a cup, including Lyanna who was very gentle with the tea cup.

 

“So I guess that means I’ll be walking down the isle with Sam” Sansa added cheerfully as she took her first sip of tea.

 

“No, I added Gilly as one of my bridesmaids, she is very sweet and I needed the groomsmen and the bridesmaids to be even.”

 

Sansa tilted her head in confusion, if Sam was walking with Gilly who was she going to walk down the isle with?

 

“As my maid of honor you’ll be walking with Robb’s best man Jon.”

 

Sansa dropped her cup of tea and it shattered on the stone floor. She barely noticed that the front of her cloths were all wet or that there were now shards of porcelain underfoot; all she could focus on was that Jon was coming back to town.

 

“Uh oh” Lyanna said about the spilled tea; but all Sansa thought was, _Uh_ _oh is right._


	2. They Seem so Hard to Find

That night Sansa cuddles close to Lyanna in their studio apartment. She had read her daughter’s favorite story to her and she was now fast asleep next to Sansa. Sansa looked around there place and thought again about how they would need a bigger place soon. Lyanna may be happy to share a bed with Sansa now but she was only four a didn’t need the privacy of her own space.

 

Sansa couldn’t think about that now, not when her mind kept going back to Jon. She fell asleep thinking about how they met.

 

 **Five** **Years** **Before**

 

“Mom, Dad, everybody” Arya called from the front room “Robb is home!”

 

Robb was finally coming home from college. He had been back occasionally over the four years, for holidays and such, but he had created a life for himself in Old Town. Robb had gone to the Citadel for college, it was the most prestigious schools in all of Westeros, or maybe the world.

 

“He brought Jon!” Arya continued to yell as everyone made it to the front of the house, “And there is a woman with them!”

 

Sansa had met Jon once when her family had traveled to visit Robb two years ago. Jon had been Robb’s roommate and they had turned into best friends almost instantly.

 

One by one they poured out of the house to embrace Robb and his guests. Arya was already in Robb’s arms by the time Sansa made it outside, she then let go and turned to Jon for an equally big hug. Arya had become close to Jon when she was invited to a special summer camp for lacrosse players on the Citadel campus last year.

 

Sansa hugged Robb, “Welcome home.”

 

“Thanks sis, I didn’t know you’d be here?”

 

“Well I didn’t want to miss the return of the prodigal son, beside it gets a little to hot for me in Dorne during the summer.”

 

Sansa had chose a smaller college in Dorne, which was perfect for Sansa since she had always wanted to travel as far South as she could when she was a child. The school had a smaller student body but it had a renowned hospitality program, that Sansa loved.

 

“I know exactly what you mean” the mystery women interrupted “my family has a second house in Dorne and I practically live in the pool during the summer.”

 

Sansa smiled at her politely, she seemed nice but Sansa was still awkwardly waiting for an introduction, and so was her mother who had joined the growing conversation.

 

“Oh sorry,” Robb jumped in smiling broadly “this is my girlfriend Margaery.”

 

“Hello I’m Sansa” she stretched out a hand.

 

“It is so nice to meet you, Robb talks so much about his family it’s like I know you already” Margaery took her hand a shook it delicately.

 

Sansa mom, Catelyn, skipped the hand shaking and went right in for a hug, “It is so nice to meet you.”

 

She released Margaery, “I’m very sorry that we did not warn you about all the extra house guest, but Robb insisted that it would be fine” Margaery put one hand behind Robb’s back and the other on his chest, she was clearly worried about her moms reaction.

 

“Of course, the more the merrier” Cat had always been one of those mothers who warmly welcomes all her children’s friends, even the ones she secretly didn’t like.

 

“Lets head inside,” Ned commanded draping his arm around Robb’s shoulder “your mom has been working all day on dinner and I’m starving.” Everybody laughed and started to follow the patriarch of the family into the house.

 

Dinner was just as delicious as always. Sansa enjoyed the noise that always accompanied meals; with a big family there were always lots of smaller conversation going on. Robb, Jon, Ned, and Bran were discussing some sport competition; Sansa had been getting to know Margaery; Rickon was silently watching Arya and Cat argue about Arya giving up her room.

 

“I don’t want to bother anyone, I’m sure I could find a hotel around her to stay” Margaery offered, clearly still nervous abut making a good impression.

 

“Nonsense” Cat insisted “Arya and Sansa can share a room, and you can take one of their, and Robb and Jon can share his room.”

 

“Mom” Sansa interjected, “Margaery can stay in my room if she wants to... but she and Robb might want to stay in his room together.”

 

“Sansa” Cat said clearly scandalizes by her suggestion.

 

Every one at the table was now paying attention to the conversation going on about the sleeping arrangements.

 

“Cat, the kids are grown let them figure it out on their own” Ned stated.

 

“I don’t think we should encourage this behavior” Cat whispered across the table.

 

“The sexual behavior” Arya practically shouted.

 

The table explored with conversations, laughter, and scolding form all sides. Margaery just sat there looking down at her plate. Sansa looked around the table to see everyone else’s reactions and suddenly locked eyes with Jon.

 

His grey eyes were enticing, secretive and seductive. Sansa had thought he looked good before but he had certainly filled out and she suddenly had the urge to run her hands down his arms, and abs, and ... she shook her head, clearing her mind. She could feel her face heating up and knew that she was blushing.

 

“How about I go stay in the lake house and Margaery can sleep in my room, that way Arya won’t have to share with me” Sansa suggested trying to put this conversation back on track.

 

There was a small lake at the edge of their property about a mile away, and right on the shore was a small house; it was really just a single bedroom and small kitchen, but it had a small seating area and an outside shower. It used to be were all their sleepovers used to be as kids during the summer. It was quiet and secluded, since there were so many trees between the main house and the lake.

 

“Well I think that could work, and if Robb and Jon don’t want to share one of them can join you” Cat added happily, content with this new arrangement.

 

Robb looked at Jon “Do you mind staying in the lake house? You can stay with me but the air mattress is not very comfortable. Or I could go, I guess, if you don't want to.”

 

Margaery’s eyes shot up to Robb with a look of pure panic. Sansa guesses that after this little family display she did not want to be left in this house alone with his family. It made Sansa chuckle inside, understanding that her family could be a bit much for some people, especially those from the South.

 

“No I’m happy to stay in the lake house” Jon finally chimed in.

 

Arya snorted “So its not ok for Robb and Margaery to stay in the same room, but you are giving Sansa and Jon their own sex house?”

 

The table once again busted into chaos. “Don’t be crass” Cat reprimanded, “beside their is a futon in the living area and bedroom so it’s like two rooms” she justified.

 

Arya simply rolled her eyes in response. Everyone else at the table started to get up and take their plates to the sink. Sansa was still red from her inappropriate thoughts and from Arya’s inappropriate suggestion. She went upstairs and packed a small bag to take with her to the lake house. She waited for Jon downstairs, he did not know how to get there and it would be rude of her to make someone else show him the way when she was going to the same place.

 

He soon showed up on the back porch, where Sansa was waiting for him, with his suitcase and a shy smile, “So, are we heading out?”

 

“Oh yah, lets go” Sansa shook herself again, she did not know why he was distracting her so much.

 

They were about half way there before either of them talked again.

 

“Are you sure your ok with me staying with you? Because I really don’t mind the air mattress” it was cute how flustered he was getting.

 

“Of course not, like my mom said it is more like two separate rooms; and besides the air mattress is really uncomfortable” she giggled. He joined in her laughter and they both settled into casual conversation.

 

“Home sweet home” Sansa said as she swung open the door.

 

“It’s really nice” he mumbled looking around the small interior “bigger than the place I grew up.”

 

Sansa was not quite sure how to respond to that last part so she moved on “Yep and everyone spend most of their time down here anyway, because of the lake, so we’ll have plenty of company.”

 

Sansa looked around nervously, not sure what to do next, “So do you want to take the bed or...”

 

“Please, you take the bed room,” he assured “I’ll be fine on the futon. You already saved me from the air mattress, I can’t take your bed too.”

 

Sansa blushed again and moved into the back bedroom to set her stuff down. She got changed into her night gown and then left the room to brush her teeth. She went to open the door to the bathroom when it opened up to show a shirtless Jon on the other side.

 

“I’m sorry” they both said in unison.

 

They mumbled a few other apologies and “it’s ok”s before they switched places and she was in the bathroom with the door closed and he was heading to the futon to sleep.

 

That night she lay in bed unable to get Jon’s shirtless body out of her mind.


	3. I Tried to Reach For You

Sansa woke up to the beeping sound of her alarm. She quickly turned it off so it would not wake up Lyanna, it was easier for Sansa to get in the shower and get ready for the day if her daughter was still asleep. Sansa went to the bathroom and turned on the shower letting it warm up, when steam started to fill the space around her she hopped in letting the scalding water wash away her worries. It had been a week since Margaery told her that she would be walking down the isle with Jon Snow, and she had thought about him everyday since.

 

Every night she would dream about him, about their months together all those summers ago. Every nigh she would dream about the first they had; the first time he came to stay with them, the first time they kissed, the fist time they slept together, but the most common dream wasn’t a fist it was last, the last she every saw him. During the day she tried to keep her mind busy but every now and then she would become overwhelmed with thought of him and fear would course through her veins. As the days pushed her closer and closer to the wedding it became harder to ignore the possibility that Lyanna’s parentage might be revealed, and all the possibilities she came up with scared her.

 

She got out of the shower and continued to get ready, while preparing a quick breakfast for her and Lyanna. Most mornings were rushed and Lyanna would have to wait for breakfast until she got to school, but Sansa had Wednesdays off, as well as the weekends, and she tried to be as much like her mother as she could. Once she was done getting ready and the first batch of blueberry pancakes were off the griddle, she went over to Lyanna and gently shook her shoulder.

 

“Lya” she said softy, in that mothering morning voice, “time to get up, blueberry pancakes are ready.”

 

Lyanna stretched and rubbed her eyes, “I love pancakes” her voice was still groggy but she smiled and hopped out of bed.

 

Sansa wished she could jump out of bed so easily. She giggled as she followed Lyanna to the small table. They ate their pancakes and talked about their day, Sansa had to send Lyanna to preschool for a half day to help Margaery with wedding planing but the rest of the day was all theirs.

 

“Mommy, when do I get to wear my dress?” Lyanna asked for what seemed like the hundredth time since they tried it on a week ago.

 

“This Saturday” Sansa answered “just a few more days” she continued sadly.

 

“Can I wear a dress today?”

 

“Sure, you go pick one out, but remember that you still need to wear a sweater.”

 

Sansa cleaned up breakfast and waited for her daughter to get as ready as she could on her own. She had picked out an orange dress with white flowers embroidered across the bottom.

 

“Come here let me brush your hair before we go” Sansa held out her hand for Lyanna to come stand in front of her.

 

Sansa loved brushing her daughters soft auburn hair. In the sun it was an even brighter red than her own, but most of the time it looked identical to Sansa’s. In general Lyanna was almost a perfect copy of Sansa, the only true difference was her eyes. When Lyanna was born her eyes were blue like most babies, and Sansa had been relieved, but over her first couple of months her eyes had turned grey. Sansa had panicked but her family and everyone else she knew had just attributed Lyanna’s eyes to her family, after all her father and sister both had grey colored eyes. Sansa had side stepped the question of Lyanna’s paternity well enough and Sansa had been glad that no biting questions had come up based on Lyanna’s looks, since she looked so much like Sansa and her other family members.

 

Sansa could still remember the months after she found out she was pregnant, she had begun to tell the people closest to her and the inevitable question of, who the father was, always came up. For some people Sansa answered with a simple “you don’t know him”, for her family she would say that “ he was a mistake” that she did not want to talk about, but no matter what she said she always ended up crying. Eventually people stopped asking, either because they were to nervous about making her cry again or because they knew it was no use asking. Her mother was the only family member who ever brought up Lyanna’s father, asking if he knew about her or if he had certain habits and trait Lyanna had; Sansa never answered them and had no intention of ever answering them, but soon she may not have a choice.

 

Sansa finished brushing out Lyanna’s hair and helped her put on her shoes.

 

“Ok sweetie lets get going.”

 

They walked down the street, passing by the little cafe that Sansa worked at, she waved at Jeyne who was working at the counter; two blocks down was the quaint daycare that Lyanna went to. Today was a perfect spring day, it was a little chilly but the sun was shining and Sansa knew the day would warm up, which would be perfect if Lyanna decided she wanted to go to the park or do a picnic for dinner. They walked into the school and most of the kids were already there with Ol’ Nan.

 

“Good morning” Nan said in the cheerful grandmother way.

 

“Good morning” Lyanna responded politely and then ran off to play with the other kids.

 

“I was not expecting you to come in today” Nan looked at Sansa concerned “is everything ok?”

 

“Yes, of course, I just promised to help Margaery with some last minute wedding plans and I didn’t want Lyanna to be bored. I’ll be back in a couple of hours to pick her up though.”

 

Nan smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. Sansa knew that she was worried about her, since Sansa had been off for the last week.

 

“No, no. Take as long as you need, weddings are tedious things.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Sansa left and walked back down to her apartment to get her car and drive over to Robb and Margaery’s. They did not live far away, none of the Stark children had moved very far, but they had a nice house in the suburb just outside of Wintertown, where Sansa lived. Rickon and Bran still lived at home, although Bran was planing on following Robbs footsteps next year and go to Citadel. Arya had driven her mother crazy when she had moved in with her boyfriend, Gendry, and decided to take a year off school, but it lessened the blow that she only moved about twenty minutes away. Sansa arrived at Margaery’s promptly at 9 o’clock, just like she promised.

 

“Good Morning” Sansa hollered as she walked through the unlocked door and into the house.

 

“Hey, I’m back in dinning room” she heard Margaery’s voice call as she headed to the kitchen.

 

The smell of fresh baked muffins filled the room as Sansa walked into the kitchen. Everyone was always amazed at how calm and collected Margaery was through this whole wedding process, but it never surprised Sansa; for all the years she had known Margaery she had been like super woman, always able to juggle anything that was thrown at her. Margaery had been invaluable when Sansa got pregnant, she had stood by Sansa side and always had a snarky remark for anyone who was unkind to Sansa about being a young unwed mother. Margaery had thrown her a baby shower, helped her find an apartment and her job; Margaery had become Sansa best friend and biggest supported, so it had been no shock that Margaery asked Sansa to be her maid of honor, although Sansa had still been thrilled at the offer.

 

“I thought you were done with everything” Sansa stated as she sat down next to Margaery at the dinning room table, which was covered with wedding stuff.

 

“I am mostly, I was just hoping you could help me with some last minute phone calls and then we could go see the venue one last time to make sure it will be perfect.”

 

That was Margaery’s word, perfect, she had wanted everything to be perfect for her and Robb’s big day, and that’s all Sansa wanted as well.

 

“Of course and we should probably talk about your bachelorette party tomorrow.”

 

“Eeek” Margaery squealed “I’m so excited, I love Robb, but I cant wait to see another naked man. By the way who is the stripper going to be?”

 

“I’m not sure, I let Arya manage that” Sansa said blushing, she had not seen a naked man since she had given birth four and a half years ago, and even before that she had only ever had sex with three people, so she thought it best that someone with more experience find the male stripper.

 

They went about making calls and finalizing plans for the rest of the morning and around lunch they headed out to see how the venue was coming along. They were getting married outside, in a breathtaking field, some people had tried to talk Margaery out of getting married outside during spring time, but Sansa always chimed in that it would not dare rain on Margaery’s special day. They had been there for about thirty minutes when Robb ran across the field and into the arms of his soon to be wife.

 

“I’m sorry for being late” he said.

 

“It’s ok but you won’t be able to stay long, you have to go pick up Jon and the others from the airport soon.”

 

Sansa heart fell at the mention of Jon’s name. She had resolved to stay away from him as much as possible, but she did not know how she was going to get through seeing him at all if this was her reaction to just his name. She walked away from them so that they could finish talking in private and so she did not hear anymore about Jon and the plans surrounding him. Once Robb gave Margaery a kiss and ran off to get the people from the airport Sansa rejoined her.

 

“Hey I’m sorry to bail too but I have to go get Lya” Sansa said, walking up to her best friend.

 

“Oh of course go, go. I’ll see you tomorrow for my bachelorette party.”

 

Sansa quickly walked to her car, when Sansa was almost at Lyanna’s daycare her phone rang. Sansa pulled over since her Bluetooth had stopped working over a month ago and se did not have the money to fix it or anything else that was wrong with her car.

 

“Hello” she answered when her car came to a compleat stop.

 

“Sansa, it’s your mother.”

 

Sansa smiled at herself, “Hi mom, what’s up?”

 

“I’m putting together a dinner for tonight I want to have a big family dinner with everyone before Margaery’s parents get here, so can you come?”

 

Cat would never say anything but Sansa knew she did not like Margaery’s parents very much, they enjoyed flaunting their money and insisted on paying for the wedding because they could afford a “grander affair”. Sansa wanted to go and support her mother and her best friend but she knew Jon would be there and was not prepared to see him so soon.

 

Her mom must have sensed her hesitation because she started to beg, “Please dear it will not be the same without you and this will be the last time we can get together before all the crazy-ness of the wedding starts and everything is changed for ever.”

 

Her mother really knew how to guilt Sansa into doing anything, even though they both knew she was being dramatic, “Ok sure, but Lya won’t be able to make it I already told her that she could have dinner over at Beth’s tonight.”

 

“That’s fine dear, just come over after you drop her off.”

 

Sansa hung up the phone and sighed, she was not proud of lying but she did not want Jon to spend anymore time than necessary around her daughter, it also gave her an easy escape if the night got to much for her. She hopped that Ros was available to take Lyanna on such short notice. Sansa and Ros had become companions in single motherhood after they met in a mommy and me class, thankfully their children had also become fast friends and were practically inseparable. She made a call to Ros who was more than happy to have Lyanna over for dinner, although she had been extra curious about the father situation. Sansa had told Ros more about Lyanna’s conception than anyone else but not enough to know the whole story; most of the time Ros did not mind because she would fill any awkward silence by complaining about her own baby daddy drama.

 

Sansa continued on her way to pick up Lyanna and then took her home to get them both ready for their respective nights. Sansa and Ros had decided that Lyanna would just spend the night at Ros’s, that way if the night did not go well she could have the night to break down without worrying her very sensitive daughter. Lyanna was elated to have a sleepover and insisted on packing almost every stuffed animal she had, because they wanted to go too, and she packed her favorite movie, even though Sansa knew Ros and Beth had the same movie at their house. Sansa had wanted to hang around as long as possible after dropping Lyanna off but she could not take the interrogation that was inevitable with Ros, so instead she dropped off her daughter kissed her on the cheek and headed to Winterfell.

 

Winterfell was Sansa home, her safe place, but as she drove up the long driveway it had become the monster she never knew she was afraid of, it had become every mistake she had ever made, it became the uncertain future she had been swallowed by the second she saw those two pink lines. She took a deep breath and stepped out of the car and up the ominous steps to her family home.


	4. But You Have Closed Your Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the timeline may get a little confusing so let me know.

As soon as Sansa stepped through the door she was assaulted by the rumbling noise of many people talking all at once. Her home had always been full of people growing up, but she had never seen so many people there before. There were small group dotting the room and as she made her way past people greeting her warmly, she could not see and end to the amount of people collected in circles, animatedly talking to each other. Sansa finally made it to the kitchen where she knew her mother would be and saw that Margaery and Jeyne were also there helping. 

 

“Sansa your here” Margaery called over the noise.

 

“Yes I am sorry I’m late, hello mom” Sansa walked around the counter and pecked her mom on the cheek.

 

“Hello dear. Can you get the bread out of the oven I don’t want it to burn?” Cat was always affectionate with her children but she was also demanding so Sansa quickly joined in the preparation and did as her mother said.

 

The women chatted about their days and Rickon came in to join them, regaling them with stories about the prank wars he was apart of with his fencing club. They laughed, and chatted while setting the table and then waited around for Cat to make the finishing touches.

 

“Did I tell you that Robb is going to have a stripper” Margaery was clearly outraged.

 

“Aren’t you having a stripper?” Jeyne countered.

 

“Yes but it’s just not the same”

 

They went back and forward about the difference between male and female strippers which Sansa tried to block out. It’s not that she did not care about her friends inane conversation but she was to focused on looking around, without it being noticeable, to find Jon and stay as far away as possible.

 

Then there he was standing in a small group that included her bother, Sam, and two other men she could not see the faces of. He threw his head back and laughed, it was a laugh that touched her soul and made her feel like she could fly, it was a laugh she had heard so many times before.

 

**Five** **Years** **Before**

 

“Get him!” Bran yelled hurling a water ballon in their direction.

 

Jon had run over to Sansa who was on the opposite team and hoisted her up over his shoulder, using her body to block the flying water balloons; most of them ending up hitting her in butt.

 

“Put me down” she squeezed with laughter.

 

“Never” he roared and let out a burst of laughter himself.

 

“I’ll save you” Rickon battle cried. He threw a balloon at Jon but it too landed on Sansa instead of its original target.

 

Arya laughed at ran up behind Jon and threw a balloon at the top of Sansa’s head, running away as fast as she could.

 

“Arya your supposed to be on my team” Sansa reminded, although it seemed all chaos had broken loose and alliances forgotten.

 

Sansa wiggled around figuring she would have to get herself out of Jon’s hold because no one else seemed keen on saving her. Wiggling was the wrong move though because although she had slipped back down his front a little, now her breasts were pushed up agains his shoulder and her heart beat rapidly. She turned her head and found that he was look up at her also. Looking into his eyes, with her body pressed against him, made the whole world fade, like it was just the two of them. He slowly let her body slide down his until they were chest to chest, his arms still wrapped around her waist keeping her pressed against him. She founder herself unable to push away, like his soft grey eyes were hypnotizing her, calling to her, driving her crazy.

 

Before he could release her waist he was hit in the shoulder, hard, by a rouge water ballon. Jon lost his balance, since both of them had been distracted, and fell to the ground taking Sansa with him. Sansa lay sprawled out across Jon’s firm body. The spell had been broken and they both started to laugh as Sansa rolled off him and plop down on the ground beside him. They were both breathing heavily, because of the running around or the flutter in her heart she was not sure.

 

Sansa got up and toweled off, sending the unspoken signal to everyone else that she was done with the game and was now off limits. She walked into the lake house and poured herself some lemonade, then filled a large decanter and put several glasses on a tray. She carried the tray out and sat them on the table, out of the way of the war zone. Margaery was the first to join her and get some lemonade, but soon everyone had put down their weapons and joined them around the table.

 

It had been two weeks since Robb had arrived at Winterfell with Margaery and Jon. Two weeks of only a wall separating Sansa and Jon, but a wall could do nothing for her dreams. Every night she would listen for the creaking of the futon as it was being pulled out and laid on, sometimes she would think about sneaking out of her bedroom and crawling into bed with him but she had always stopped herself. They had grown close over the last two weeks, every morning Sansa would make them breakfast and they would sit and talk about anything and everything; after that they would be joined by everyone else and they would all decide what to do. They would go hiking or just play in the lake, some days they would split up and Margaery and Sansa would go do their own things but most of the time Sansa wanted to stick around and be close to Jon.

 

They talked about the next week while they drank their lemonade. Robb was taking Margaery up to go skiing, because she had never been, and they would have to go even farther North this time of year to get good snow. Arya and Rickon had invited themselves along and the offer was extended to Jon, but he declined. Bran was spending the week at some brainiac camp that he had been looking forward to, and their parents had decided to go with him and spend some time in the Vale with Cat’s sister Lysa; so that just left Jon and Sansa here alone.

 

“So what are we going to do for the week?” Sansa asked Jon.

 

“Maybe I could win a game of chess” everyone laughed at that, the only person he had beat so far was Margaery and everybody had their suspicion that she let him win.

 

“You can try,” she challenged “you will have a whole week to learn from all your failed attempts.” She winked at him making light of her teasing.

 

They all spent the rest of the evening relaxing and lounging around the lake before everyone called it an early nigh and went back to the main house to pack. Sansa and Jon went in and decided to watch a movie for a while.

 

“Uhhh” Jon moaned as he stretched his back.

 

“Are you ok? Did you get hurt when I landed on you” Sansa asked worried, then added “it would serve you right for using me as your human shield.”

 

Jon chuckled and stretched his back, “No it wasn’t that, I think it’s the futon. It was fine the first couple of days but it’s a little lumpy.”

 

“I did warn you it wasn’t very comfortable. We could switch if you want to” she offered sincerely.

 

“No, no. What kind of big strong man would I be if I let a delicate lady like yourself sleep on this unfit mattress” he jested.

 

Sansa rolled her eyes and pushed at his shoulder, not that it moved him much “Maybe it’s not the mattress, maybe its just because your an old man.”

 

That got her tickled mercilessly, just like she knew it would, she flailed around laughing and begging him to stop, but it just spurred him on. He finally stopped when he found himself on top of Sansa, only holding his weight off her with his forearms, and again their eyes meet and time stoped.

 

“We should get some sleep” Jon whispered moving to get off Sansa.

 

They bid each other good night and Sansa went back to her side of the wall that separated them but not enough to muffle the soft sounds of his breathing as he drifted off to sleep.

 

**Present**

 

He had yet to see her but she could not take her eyes off him; then another figure in the group caught her eye and stole her breath. Standing in the crowd of men was Theon Greyjoy, the man who Sansa had used to get over Jon.

 

Sansa had fled Winterfell after Jon left to go back South. She had joined Jeyne on a mini vacation to the Iron Islands; they stayed with Theon, who had been another one of her brothers friends. She remembered the night that Jeyne had left them alone to go out with some guy she had meet.

 

**Five** **Years** **Before**

 

Sansa watched as Jeyne put the finishing touches on her outfit, “You look great.”

 

“Are you sure you’r ok to being alone tonight?” Jeyne was looking at her with those sorrowful puppy dogs eyes.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. Besides I won’t be alone, Theon is going to be here with me.”

 

“Maybe you could talk to him about what has been going on” Sansa knew Jeyne had been concerned about her melancholy attitude.

 

Sansa had always been a happy person, but when her heart had been broken so had her spirit. She came to the Iron Islands to be free but all she had achieved was to scare her friend.

 

“Maybe I will” she tried to smiled at her friend.

 

“Ok” Jeyne sighed, “then I’m going to get going, how do I look” she gave a twirl.

 

“Perfect. Make sure you call me if he turns out to be a creep.”

 

“You take such good care of me” Jeyne kissed her cheek and turn to walk out the door.

 

Sansa sat in the living room of her host’s home and turned on the T.V. She flipped through the channels absentmindedly.

 

“Hey there sugar tits, what are we watching?” Theon plopped down on the couch next to her.

 

Sansa laughed sarcastically, “What did I say about calling me that.”

 

“What sugar tits wants, sugar tits gets” he grabbed the remote out of Sansa hand and attempted a charming smile.

 

Sansa huffed exhaustedly at his antics, most of the time she was fine with his vulgar language and boyish attitude but tonight she had had enough; she stood up to go to the room she and Jeyne were sharing. She felt a hand grab her wrist and looked down at Theon with the deadliest stare she could muster.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said “come on just sit with me. I promise to behave... Sansa.”

 

She sat down unsure if this was the right move, she was not good around people at the moment. Theon flipped through the channels and landed on the Notebook, she never thought Theon Greyjoy would stop on the Notebook, but when he did she snatched the remote and turned it to some crime show.

 

“What I thought chicks loved that movie?”

 

“I’m just not in the mood” she mumbled.

 

“So Jeyne was right, this is about a boy” he mused.

 

“You and Jeyne have been talking about me” Sansa sounded outraged but really it would have been odd for them not to talk about her shifting demeanor.

 

“She’s worried about you and to be honest so am I, although don’t tell anyone I don’t want to loose my street cred.”

 

She said nothing, just continued to blankly watch the show that she had turned to. He stood up and held out his hand, “Come on, I want to take you somewhere.”

 

Sansa did not take his hand, “Trust me” he said.

 

She stood up and he led her out the door and into the cool night air, Sansa had only ever heard terrible things about the weather on the Iron Islands, but Jeyne and Sansa had not experienced a single rainy day since they got there a couple days ago. They were walking down toward the dock that was attached to his property, she had seen the dock, and the boat attached to it, but she had yet to be this close to it. He hopped on the deck of his sail boat and held out his hand to help her on.

 

“I don’t know” she said hesitantly.

 

“I promise I’m very good” he winked.

 

She smiled at him and stepped on board. They sailed around for hours, and he was right, he was a master at sailing. She was finally feeling free, she hadn’t stopped smiling since she stepped on the sail boat. They stopped once they were far enough away from shore that they could not see land in any direction, and it truly felt like she had left all her sorrows on the shore, to far away to see. He dropped anchor and lounged on one of the seats that dotted the deck, she sat beside him. Theon reached under the hidden seat compartment and pulled out a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. They drank and talked and laughed.

 

“So tell me about this guy” Theon said pouring another drink for himself.

 

“I don't want to talk about him, I just want to get over it.”

 

“Well you know what they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone” Theon winked.

 

Sansa leaned in and whispered, “Maybe I want to be on top of someone.”

 

He leaned the rest of the of the way to her and presses his lips to hers gently. Sansa could tell he was holding back so she grabbed his head and pulled him closer to her, kissing him harder.

 

—————

 

The next morning she rolled over and came face to face with a still sleeping Theon. They were still out to sea so there was no where for her to go except up to the deck. She wrapped a blanket around her body and walked into the light of the morning sun. Not long after she heard a shuffling coming from down below.

 

“Good morning” Theon said stretching.

 

“Morning”she replied, handing him a cup of coffee.

 

“Soooo about last night...”

 

“Don’t worry, it was great” she smiled, “and just what I need, some no strings fun, to get over someone.”

 

**Present**

 

The next day she and Jeyne had flown back home, no one the wiser about her night with Theon. Now here he was, she had never regretted their night together, well not until he showed up standing right next to the “someone” she had been trying to forget; but just when she thought this moment could not get any worse she finally recognized the last man in the group, Dickon Tarly.

 

Dickon had already been in Winter Town when Sansa and Jeyne had returned from the Iron Islands. He had come to visit his brother Sam, and also to get away from his controlling and cruel father. They had both gotten hammered one night and slept together; Sansa barely remembers anything about that night, but she remembered how sweet he was the next day and how sorry he was for taking advantage of her, even though she assured him he had done no such thing. If anything she had used him the same way she used Theon, to get over Jon Snow, and now all three of the men she had ever had sex with were standing next to her brother talking about God knows what.

 

“FUCK” she whispered to herself.


	5. Whatever Happened To Our Love

“Fuck, Fuck, Shit, No No No” Sansa whispered to herself, needing to flee from the room.

 

Margaery and Jeyne were looking at her in shock, but shock turned to concern as Sansa continued to swear under her breath. Sansa did not swear often but when she did it was for a good reason. Sansa needed to move, to go somewhere, anywhere, before she collapsed into a pool on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. She ran out of the room and up the stair, hearing foots steps follow her as she went, she slammed the door to the bathroom up stairs and slid down the door until she was sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest.

 

This was the position she was in five years ago when she had been waiting for her pregnancy test results and here she is again, just as unsure abut her future. Nothing had really changed except she was not just thinking about herself this time, she also had a daughter to consider.

 

She heard a soft knock on the bathroom door, “Sansa can we come in?” It was Jeyne, she was using her customer service voice, the one she used to calm unruly cafe guests.

 

“Come on Sansa it’s just Jeyne and me. Please open the door.”

 

Sansa knew that she would let them in eventually, but if she left them out there to long it might start to attract attention, so she got off the floor and opened the door slowly pulling them in one by one.

 

Once they were all in the bathroom Sansa fell back onto the floor and continued crying. Both of her friends got down on her level and wrapped their arms around her, enveloping her in the unconditional love that she desperately needed. They sat there in silence, her friends waiting patiently for Sansa to pull herself together to explain what had just happened. Sansa made some snuffled sounds and Jeyne immediately turned to grab her some toilet paper to blow her noise. Sansa stopped crying, blew her nose, and looked up into the eyes of her concerned friends.

 

“Are you ready to talk?” Margaery asked

 

“Yah what happened down there” Jeyne added.

 

“It’s about Lyanna’s father” both of their mouths dropped open, like when a cartoon is shocked, they looked at each other and then back at Sansa. Neither said anything, probably to afraid to scare Sansa out of talking.

 

“He is downstairs.”

 

“Oh my god” they both said in unison.

 

“Who” Margaery said unable to contain herself.

 

“I always assumed it was Jon... but the thing is... I’m not one hundred percent sure.” Sansa thought that if it were possible their mouths fell open even wider.

 

Sansa continued, “That summer Jon and you came to Winterfell he and I got... close, but when he left to go home I was so upset; thats why I went on vacation with you” she turned to Jeyne, “and that is where I slept with Theon, and then when I got back to Winterfell I meet Dickon and he was so sweet... and well.. one thing lead to another and we slept together too. I always thought it was Jon but seeing them all down stairs, it could be any of them.”

 

“Shit!” “Fuck!”

 

“I know, I know. This is what I get for being a slut and spreading it around” Sansa scolded herself.

 

“Sansa, Lya is not a punishment for you exploring your womanhood, and I never what to hear you say that again” Margaery reprimanded. Margaery had always been the most sex positive of her friends.

 

“I agree” Jeyne chimed in, “you remember what I was like in high school. I slept with more boys in one week than you have in your whole life, so if your a slut I don’t know what that makes me.”

 

“Your not a slut” Sansa defended her friend from herself. She had been so jealous of her friends freedom, Sansa had always dreamed about a great love and had always believed that her virtue was the only valuable thing she had to offer, she had been a insecure fool; to focused on the old stories she read than on the world around her.

 

“Exactly, and neither are you” Margaery pointed out. “We need a plan, you can sneak away tonight and I’ll tell your mom you were not feeling well.”

 

“Thank you” Sansa hugged her friends, they were truly her light in dark times.

 

She snuck down the stair and out the door, it had not been hard since everyone else had already started eating around the table. She was almost down the front steps when she heard the door open and close behind her; she turned around and came face to face with Dickon Tarly.

 

“Hello Sansa”

 

“Dickon what are you doing out here you should go enjoy your dinner” she needed to get away before anymore of the men she was trying to get away from showed up.

 

“I needed to talk to you and I noticed you weren’t at the table”

 

She cut him off “I really need to go but maybe some other time.”

 

“When?” She just stared at him dumbly, “Please Sansa its important.”

 

“I work tomorrow morning at the Cafe, I’ll be on break around ten, you can come by and we can talk then.”

 

“Great, tomorrow then.”

 

She had managed to keep the tears under control all the way home but as soon as she locked the door behind her the flood gates opened and she cried herself to sleep.

 

Sansa woke up with a pounding headache and stiff muscles from crying all night. She rolled out of bed before he alarm went off and hopped in the shower getting ready quickly. Ros was going to drop both Beth and Lyanna off at daycare so it gave Sansa a little extra time to get herself ready. She sat at the kitchenette counter a little to long dreading the prospect of going to work and talking to Dickon. He was such a nice, considerate guy that she felt bad about not wanting to meet up with him, but he simply had the worst timing in all the world.

 

Walking down the street to the cafe was a little cold and Sansa could see her breath, she fully embraced the chill in the air. Her time in Dorne had made her aware of just how much she loved the North and it’s cold wild nature. She still wished she had been able to finish her degree but she was happy at the cafe for now, she unlocked the door to the small cafe and turned on the lights. It would still be about an hour before their first customer would come in, Starbucks had opened down the street a few months back and they had slowly been losing their early morning customers, it did however give Sansa a little extra time to wipe down the counters, get the baked goods in the ovens, and a fresh pot of coffee going.

 

The morning had gone smoothly and there were more people than normal, Sansa wondered how many new customers were here for Robb and Margaery’s wedding. Jeyne had come in about two hours after Sansa and asked her about the rest of her night. Sansa assured Jeyne that she was fine although she was not sure if Jeyne actually believed her.

 

At 9:50 Dickon walked through the doors of the cafe, a little unsure but he had the same air of kind confidence he had five years ago.

 

Jeyne quickly walked over to where Sansa was standing behind the counter and whispered to her, “Do you want me to get rid of him?”

 

“No it’s ok I knew he was coming” Sansa smiled at the unwavering support she got from her friends, “I’m going to take my break if that’s ok.”

 

“Sure, just call me if you need help getting away from him” Jeyne answered before she went to help a customer who walked in behind Dickon.

 

“Hello” Sansa said timidly.

 

“Hey, is there somewhere we could go and talk.”

 

“We can go to the park down the street if you’d like.”

 

“Perfect” he held open the door and they silently walked to the park and found a bench on the outskirts of the lay structure.

 

Sansa finally broke the silence, “So... what is it you wanted to discuss.”

 

He looked down at his hands nervously fidgeting, “I wanted to talk about Lyanna.”

 

Sansa shot up and stood in front of him, she did not know what her plan was she could not run from him, he knew where she worked and where her family lived, he was Sam’s brother for heavens sake.

 

“Please Sansa sit down” his soft eyes were pleading with her not to make this situation any harder than it already was.

 

She sat nervously, still dumb struck by his announcement that he knew about her daughter, “How?”

 

“Sam told me in passing a few years ago, he was just taking about your family and mentioned you had a daughter. After we talked I did the math, and... well...” he must of seen the blood drain from her face because he quickly explained “don’t worry Sam does not know anything. I’m so sorry I did not come back when I found out, I was such a coward. Seriously Sansa I can never make up for not doing anything for you and Lyanna when I found out about you. I’m sure you heard about my father.”

 

“Yes, I’m very sorry for your loss” Sansa had never meet Sam and Dickson’s father but she had heard enough about him to know that she was glad she never had to meet the cruel man. Sam had been so lacking in confidence when he came to stay with Robb, they had meet through Jon and when Sam had needed to start his life over Robb had taken him in. It was not until Gilly that he truly started to come out of his shell.

 

“As you know my father was not a kind man and he had such high expectations of me that I could not be my true self. If he had found out about you he would of insisted we get married and I could never do that to you, trap you in a marriage with me.”

 

“Dickon...” she started to comfort him before he cut her off.

 

“No you don’t understand, I knew I could never give you everything a husband should because... I’m... well I’m gay” he sighed in relief as if that was the first time he had said it out loud. She hugged him and let him melt into her shoulder taking all the pain he had held in for so many years.

 

They finally released “But I promise I will be there for you and Lyanna now in what ever way you need me.”

 

“Dickon...” he cut her off again.

 

“No I insist, even if you don't want me to be an active role in her life... I should walk you back, I’ve taken enough of your time.”

 

As they walked back she could not find the words to tell him the truth, what even was the truth, he could be Lyanna’s father, or he could not be. Could she tell him that without making this whole mess worse. What if he wanted to take a DNA test, what if he wanted all the possible fathers to take a test just to make sure. She needed to figure out a plan before she told anymore people the truth. She had to keep her daughter safe and happy; and away from all of this craziness. She still had not made up her mind about what to do by the time they got back to the cafe. Before she could flee this situation and go back into the comforting smell of baked goods and coffee Dickon grabbed her hand and she spun around to look at him.

 

“I want you to take your time and think about everything and know that no matter how long it takes to figure things out you can always come to me for help” he was so sincere, the kind of man she always wanted to be with. She wrapped him in one last hug before she turned the door nob and walked into the warm embrace of a familiar space.

 

She was relieved that their conversation had gone so well, although she was still trying to work out her new reality. She had every intention of living out the rest of her days just her and her daughter, going to family functions and watching from the sidelines as the families around her grew and expanded; but after talking to Dickon she was not sure if that is what was best for her or Lyanna. She had a million thoughts running through her mind for the rest of the work day but by three it was time to close down early and get ready for the bachelorette party.

 

She picked up Lyanna, who regaled her with stories about her and Beths sleepover, they stopped at home briefly to pack another overnight bag for Lyanna, since she was going to stay with her grandmother tonight while she went to Margaery’s party. Ros was invited too, even thought Margaery did not know her very well, so Beth was going to be staying with Cat as well tonight which made Lyanna even more excited to have yet another sleepover. Sansa sat on the small couch watching her beautiful girl pack and unpack all the toys in their apartment.

 

She wondered if this is what the future would hold for them, packing bags to spend weekends away, spending holidays and birthdays apart. Would she go south with Jon, would Theon take her on one trips at sea, Dickon was the safest bet since he had already told Sansa it was up to her what arrangements they made. Maybe Sansa would just lie and tell everyone Lyanna was Dickon’s daughter, make it easy; but if her secrets came back to haunted once they certainly would again. Sansa thought about her decision five years ago to keep her pregnancy from the possible fathers, she had made it selfishly because she could not imagine seeing the man who broke her heart for the rest of her life; now she had another to consider and made this decision even harder.

 

Sansa stopped to pick up Ros and Beth before going too her parents. Sansa was surprised when Margaery invited Ros, but Sansa thought it was because Ros was a stripper and she wanted one less option for Robb’s bachelor party. Sansa had never judged Ros’s profession, and neither did her family, in fact when Sansa fell behind on her bills early on as a single mother Ros had offered her a place at The Littlefinger and assured Sansa she would make plenty of money, but Sansa had been to afraid to go threw with it and in the end had made it threw the tough times. She had lived with her family for the first year of Lyanna’s life and while it had its perks it also had its pitfalls. Sansa had gotten into more fights with her mother that year then all throughout her childhood, her parents had been disappointed in her but more than that they thought they could control her and the way she raised her daughter and Sansa refused to be controlled any longer. When she had left it had been tense for a while but slowly her show of independence wore her parents down and they now respected her for the independent woman that she turned into.

 

They dropped of the girls with Cat and Sansa kissed her mother goodbye and promises to be good. Then she went to her daughter, “You be good for grandma ok”

 

“I know mommy I will” she smiled sweetly.

 

“Just two more days and you get to wear your pretty dress.”

 

“Does Beth get a dress too?” Lyanna had always been a considerate child.

 

“Not this time, but after Uncle Robb’s wedding you can share your dress with her” Lyanna just smiled at that and ran to tell Beth the good news.

 

Sansa and Ros got back in the car, “Lets go go make some bad decisions” Ros joked.

 

“I think my bad decisions quota is maxed out” they both laughed “but we can go get so drunk we forget about all that.”


	6. I Wish I Understood

Sansa was two drinks in when her friends started to bombard her with questions. She could tell that they were trying to be gentle but the more drinks they had the less filtered they became.

 

“Come on Sansa give me some dirty details, it’s my bachelorette part you have to do what I asked” Margaery draped herself over Sansa and looked up at her with puppy dog eyes “pretty please.”

 

“There are not dirty details” Sansa hiccuped.

 

“You have a kid we know there has to be some dirty” Ros raised her eyebrows suggestively.

 

Sansa took a shot and then looked at each of her friends, who were all giving her all their attention “Ok fine, it started that week that you guys went skiing...” he mind drifted over what she should and should not share.

 

                                                                                    Five Years Ago

 

Sansa stared at the water dripped off every ripping muscle on Jon’s body. Over the last couple of days she had not been able to keep her eyes of him, cloths or not. She relaxed in the lounge chair next to the lake with the biggest darkest sunglasses she had to make sure Jon did not know she was ogling him. She had even picked up a book to obscure her view and cover her mouth, which had already dropped open unconsciously a couple days ago, thankfully he had not yet noticed her inappropriate looks. He walked toward her from the lake and picked up the towel on the chair next to her.

 

“Sansa... Sansa?” She had been so distracted watching him dab the water off his body with the fluffy cotton towel that she did notice that he was talking to her.

 

“Yah, sorry this book is very good” she lied.

 

“I was just wondering if you wanted to play chess later?”

 

“Haha, sure if you are looking to be beat again” they had played six times since her family left them alone and he had yet to win.

 

“I don’t know I might have more of a chance now, you seem a little distracted” he grinned at her knowingly.

 

Sansa bit her bottom lip, she was slightly embarrassed that he noticed her checking him out, but she was also thrilled that he did not seem opposed to her staring. They had been flirting with each other all week and Sansa thought that tonight might be the perfect night to make a move. She put the the book on the table next to her chair, swung her long bare legs over the side and stood; her body was almost touching his in the small space between the two lounge chairs.

 

She took a step even closer to him “Want to make it interesting?”

 

“What were you thinking” he growled.

 

“How about a little strip chess, for every piece you lose on the board you also lose an item of clothing” her eye travel down his body, not hiding the fact that she was openly gawking at him.

 

“I think I’m at adisadvantage” he looked down at his swim trunks.

 

“Ok fine you can get more cloths on and I’ll go get the board, but I don’t know why you would bother your just going to be taking in all off soon enough” she walked away slowly turning around for one last look.

 

Once she was out of sight she hustled to her room and quickly changed her undergarments. She had not had any sexy underwear or bra set before this summer but a couple weeks ago Sansa went shopping with Margaery who insisted on going into a lingerie store and buying something for Sansa. When she got it home Sansa had every intention of returning the items but she had tried them on one last time and she knew she could not send it back, it was the first mature thing she owned and she was not willing to give it up. It was black lacy boy short with a matching pushup bra that had a small grey bow in between the breasts.

 

Sansa put her cloths back on quickly and grabbed the chess board. As she walked out into the small family room she noticed that Jon had put more than his fair share of cloths.

 

“You have a sweater on” she exclaimed.

 

“I thought I should get a few extra pieces since your just so good” he said sarcastically.

 

She laughed “Well you do have a point there.”

 

They sat at the table, Sansa all ready to strip. Just a couple moves in and Jon had already taken off his hoodie and both shoes, while Sansa did not start the game with a shoes on so Jon allowed her use her sunglasses as her first, and so far only, item she has taken off. Two more moves each and he was shirtless. She put her knight in a precarious position, if Jon took it that meant he wanted to see her take off a piece of clothing, since there was no real value in him taking her knight at this point; but he did just as she hoped and she crossed her arm in front of her chest grabbed the bottom of her loose fitting shirt and pulled it over her head in one elegant movement. His mouth gapped just wide enough for Sansa to notice and she celebrated her seduction be cheering on the inside.

The next couple of moves got him out of his shorts leaving him only in his boxers, she had seen him this naked before but there was something different about it now, it was much more intimate then when he was swimming or getting ready for bed. She openly peruses his body, making them both blush, it was no longer a secret flirtation but a game of cat and mouse. She lost another piece, he was right about her being distracted. Sansa got out of her chair, still standing on her side of the table, and slowly unbuttoned her shorts, then as slowly and seductively as she could she pushed them down her long silky legs, slightly swishing her legs together to get her shorts down and creat the most appealing movement of her body. She would be embarrassed if he ever found out but she had practiced this move in the mirror several times, so she knew that the side view he was getting was the best angle of her butt and the rest of her body. It definitely had the desired effect because he made a noise that sounded more animal than man.

 

In two more moves she had won, “I guess I wasn’t the only one distracted” she purred.

 

He grinned at her but the smile did not reach his eyes, they were focused on her like a predator looking at prey, and boy was she ready to be devoured.

 

“So” her smooth voice wrapped them in lusty ideas “what do I get for winning?”

 

“Whatever you want” she could barely hear his rough low voice over the sound of her own beating heart.

 

She walked around the table, put her hands on each shoulder and sat on his lap with both legs to one side. She had never taken the reigns with a man before, her only boyfriend had been in high school and Joffrey had always been the one to push for physical effect, but Jon let her take control; she felt empowered and braved. She slid her hands up his shoulders to each side of his neck and pulled him closer, she leaned in the rest of the way until their lips met and she was kissing him gently. It was only a few seconds before he pulled her closer and deepened their kiss. They were all over each other, tongues and lips clashing, pulling apart only long enough to catch their breath.

 

Jon pulled back slightly “Maybe we should slow down.”

 

Sansa pulled back too feeling instantly self-conscious but then she felt something firm against her outer leg, she leaned into him and the pressure continued the closer she got, “Not all of you wants to slow down.”

 

“Oh trust me I want you, but your also Robb’s little sister and I like you, I just don't feel like we should rush anything” Sansa could tell that he was being sincere and considerate so she lifted herself off him and stood all the way up.

 

“I understand” she looked down at him one hand gently cupping his cheek, she bent down placed a sweet kiss on his lips, “I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight” she could hear the strain in his voice and it made her swing her hips just a bit harder than normal as she walked away. As much as she wanted to continue on the path they were heading down knowing that she was leaving him wanting more was equally as thrilling.

 

——————

 

Over the next few days Jon and Sansa only got closer, they would spend easy morning making breakfast and eating while Sansa sat on his lap. They spent most of their time making out but every night they would go to their separate beds no matter how hard it was for them to part.

 

Sansa was cuddled up agains Jon on the couch “Tell me about your family.”

 

“What do you want to know?” he asked twirling a piece f her hair in between his fingers. 

 

“Come on we’ve talked about everything else but always avoid talking about your family” Sansa sat up on her elbow so that she could look into his eyes.

 

“Ok” he said shifting around so that they were sitting next to each other “there is not much to tell, it was just me and my mom growing up. My dad had died before I was born and my mom decide that she was going to raise me alone in her home, I actually grew up her in the North.”

 

“Well your accent was kind of a give away” she giggled, lightening the mood.

 

He laughed along with her “Yah, well I’m glad I didn’t lose it when I went South. When I was in high school my mother broke the news that my father had family in the South and they wanted to meet me, I didn’t know then that all they really wanted was to control me. She died my senior year of high school, car accident, after that I stayed in the South and did what my father’s family wanted me to do.”

 

“I’m so sorry Jon” she placed a hand on his chest and laid her head on his shoulder snuggling close to him.

 

He kisses the top of her head “You’ll be happy to know I’ve been feeling much more like myself recently.”

 

“Really” Sansa smiled, “and why is that?”

 

“I’m not sure” he said coyly.

 

She jabbed him playfully with her elbow before grabbing his face and kissing him. They sat there lip locked for several minutes before breaking apart. She stood slowly grasping Jon’s hand trying to pull him off the couch.

 

“Where are you taking me?” he asked, all sense of playfulness leaving his seductively deep voice.

 

“We’re going to bed” she whispered.

 

“Sansa” it was a caution instead of a rejection and that spurred her on.

 

“Come on, you said yourself this futon was not comfortable and there’s a cloud-like queen bed just on the other side of that wall” she nodded in the direction to her room, “or I could always sleep out here with you.”

 

Sansa could see the reluctance in his face, so once again she took matters into her own hands. She stopped pulling on him and instead tried a different approach, gacefully inching closer to him she made sure to plant one leg on each side of him and lowered herself onto his lap straddling him. She kissed him placing her hands on neck and then running down between their bodies before lazily making her way back up his body, nice her hands were out of the way she pressed her body against his even further and rocked her hips against his.

 

He pulled his head back, resting it on the back of the couch, trying to catch his breath “Are you sure about this?”

 

“Yes” she was breathless, “oh god yes.”

 

With her breathless plead he lost all reluctance; placing his hands beneath her thighs and standing up, hoisting her along with him. He carried her through the small lake house and pushed through the door to the bedroom.

 

                                                                                   Present

 

Sansa had remembered that night fondly, it had been her first time having sex. She had been so in love with Jon she hadn’t even been nervous, just excited for them to take their relationship to the next level. Even now, after knowing everything that would happen after that moment she never regretted sharing her first time with Jon.

 

“So what happened when we left?” Margaery interrupted Sansa trip down memory lane.

 

“We had sex... it was just casual” she lied, knowing deep down she was still in love with him. She didn’t want her friends to know about her feelings, not the feelings she had all those years ago and certainly not the feelings she had now.


	7. It Used To Be So Nice, It Used To Be So Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long I am in the middle of finals so I have been stressed, but also I tried to do a sex scene and just couldn’t so here is my vague PG version :) But this is a long one so hopefully that makes up for it.
> 
> Also I wanted to get this up so I did not correct for grammatical errors so there is probably a lot, sorry.

Sansa was drunk by her third pink fruity drink, well three drinks and two shots, she had always been a light weight but since she had had no more than a glass of wine since Lyanna was born her tolerance had dropped significantly. For the most part she stayed in her seat, not knowing what would happen if she tried to stand, people would walk around and sit with her to have polite, and thankfully shallow conversations; her friends had all become to drunk for serious conversations about her sad past and Lyanna’s father situation. 

 

Sansa was felling good, it probably had something to do with how fuzzy the world around her was, and she was excited when her sister got up n the small karaoke platform to make an announcement.

 

“Thank you all for being here” Arya was slightly slurring but was still relatively coherent “because this is Margaery’s last night of freedom we have a very special guest” all the girls in the bar squealed, including Sansa, “DJ hit it.”

 

Arya got off the stage and a few seconds later the lights dimmed just a bit and a spotlight hit the empty stage as some erotic club music started to play, it took another few seconds for a man to walk on stage his back to the audience. The screaming continued and Sansa found herself giggling at her table fully aware that she had never experienced this much nervousness for another person before. She was clearly more nervous for him than he was for himself because he began to bop to the beet of the music and swing his hips, his back still facing his adoring fans.

 

He swung around and stuck a pose, Sansa’s jaw dropped open, there on the stage in front of her about to strip for a room full of drunk girls was Theon Greyjoy. She rubbed her eyes testing to see if she was seeing what she thought she was, and sure enough there he was jutting his hips in time with the music. Sansa stumbled out of her chair and wobbled her way over to Arya who was watching from another table.

 

“Arya” she hissed “you were supposed to get a professional stripper.”

 

“I kinda forgot” Arya scrunched up her face like she was sorry, but not that sorry.

 

“I asked around and Theon was more than trilled to strip in front of a bunch of drunk bridesmaids. He even had his own tear away pants, don't ask me why.”

 

Sansa was sure Theon was happy to oblige Arya if it meant he had the chance of going home with one of the ladies in this room and based on the screams and hands being thrown in the air, he could have his pick of women. Theon had always been a ladies man, it was one of the reasons that Sansa had slept with him after her heart break; he was a safe choice, someone Sansa would not fall in love with and she still thought of him as a god friend but not a life partner, so she sat back and watched the show. 

 

He had on a button up shirt on that he was slowly undoing, popping each open with as much flare as he could muster. She could see the light colored undershirt peaking through. He took the rest of the shirt off, twirling it over his head, and eventually threw it into the crowed of extremely inebriated women. They all screamed and Sansa could tell that he was reveling in all the attention. He grabbed on to the top of his undershirts and the pulled as hard as he could, it did not rip all the way so he had to try a second time, but it finally ripped away and fell the the ground at his feet spurring on another cheer from the audience.

 

Theon fell to the ground, in a move that Sansa thought was supposed to be the worm, but he did not have enough momentum so he ended up just laying on the floor stomach down. Being the professional he was he flipped to his side and struck a pose that reminded her of the iconic Dr. Ian Malcom pose from Jurassic Park. In her drunken state she let out an appreciative scream of encouragement, her and everyone else in the room. She was enjoying this more than she thought she would, giggling to herself.

 

He hopped up from the ground, ungracefully, and grabbed onto both legs of his pants and ripped them off. These came off in one fluid motion and the crowd went wild, clearly appreciating that he was getting better, either that or they were getting more drunk. His boxers had the words “For Margaery” written over his package; Sansa shot a look at Arya, recognizing her sloppy hand writing, but she was no longer paying any attention to Sansa and had joined the other women in there cheers and laughter.

 

He slowly made his way over to the couch Margaery and a few other girls were sitting on and began to trust in her lap. Margaery was laughing so hard Sansa could see tears coming out of her eyes, but that did not seem to deter Theon who was looking around the room for his next target. Their eyes meet and he winked at her, grabbing his package and trusting. Sansa could feel her cheeks blush and her stomach flutter. After Margaery had gotten the royal treatment and he moved on to one of the friends next to her, putting his ass in her lap and moving around suggestively. Sansa noticed he took more of his moves from female exotic dancers than male strippers, which made sense to her since she is sure he had been to way more female strip clubs than male ones. Sansa couldn’t ignore that her stomach still felt queasy.

 

Her hand shot to her mouth without thinking and her feet shuffled quickly to the bathroom down the dark hallway. She made it just in time to hurl her guts out in the dirty club bathroom. Sansa could hear someone jiggling the bathroom door and she yelled out to tell them it was occupied, but she was a little preoccupied. She cleaned herself up a little, opened the door and there was Ros leaning against the wall across from the bathroom door.

 

“You ok?”

 

“Yah” Sansa answered “I guess I did have more mistakes to make. I think I’m going to call a cab I cant drink anymore.”

 

“I can drive you home, if you want” Ros was slurring just a bit and Sansa shook her head.

 

“Please don’t drive at all tonight” Sansa was trying to use her stern mom voice but she was not very good at it yet, “I’m serious... do I have t take your keys.”

 

“No, no, I promise I wont drive. Are you going to be ok alone.” Sansa just nodded her head and turned to find the exit out.

 

“Wait,” Sansa looked back, “I know you and Theon had a thing but do you mind if I go for it?”

 

Sansa threw her head back and laughed, which upset her stomach again, “You go for it... see you later” she hollered over her shoulder as she walked away.

 

Sansa stepped out of the cab and up the steps of her childhood home, it had cost more to be dropped off here but she did not want to spend another night away from Lyanna. The door squeaked as she pushed it open and she shushed it loudly adding to the dull noise in the otherwise silent house. Everyone had gone to bed long ago, Sansa had told her mother that there was a possibility of her coming here tonight instead of her own flat but made no promises, she hoped that her mother would not stay up waiting fro her and by the looks of the quiet dark room no one stayed up for her. She walked lightly up the stairs, although in the silence it sounded like she hit every creak in the floorboards.

 

Lyanna and Beth were cuddled up on Sansa childhood bed with a mountain of stuffed animals at their feet. Sansa leaned over her daughter brushing away the hair from her face and planting a feather light kiss on her temple. Sansa looked around the room, it was just the same as it always had been, like a relic to the girl she used to be. She sat at her desk and rested her head on her hand, but before her eyes could close in exhaustion she noticed a pice of warn paper. She recognized the soft cursive writing as her own, she picked it up absentmindedly, reading the list she remembered making when she was fifteen and had not seen in five years.

 

                                                                     Five Years

 

Sansa felt a tingle and her face but as she went to while it away it just moved to another spot. She opened her eyes groggily and smiled and Jon continued kissing her face softly.

 

“Good morning” he whispered in between kisses.

 

“Nooo” Sansa protested shaking her head against the pillow, “I don’t want to get up yet. Lets just stay in bed all day.”

 

“Everybody is returning today.”

 

“Exactly why we should just stay in bed and ignore them” she looked up at him with her pleading doe eyes.

 

“Come on” he kissed her bare shoulder “you should be excited to see your family again.”

 

“I am” she said defensively “I just have been enjoying our alone time.” Sansa hiked a leg over his body and rolled on top of him so she was sitting on him as he look up from his position in bed.

 

“Oh trust me so have I” he placed his hands on her hips and smiled coyly.

 

“So you agree, we should stay in bed together” she leaned down to kiss his neck making him grown beneath her.

 

“No... but I do think we should talk about what we are going to tell your family.”

 

That made Sansa forget about her attack on his defenses and sit up “What do you mean?”

“Well it’s just that your brother is my best friend and I don’t want him to feel like I have broken some sort of bro code, you are strictly off limits.”

 

Sansa hesitated, she knew it would be complicated but she did not want it to seem like they were hiding anything, or doing anything wrong. They were both adults and they didn’t have to ask her brother, or anyones, permission to date. On the other had she did not want to come in between Jon and Robb’s friendship, since she knew it meant so much to both of them.

 

“And also I don’t think your parents would let us both stay out here if they knew what we were up to” he sat up and kissed a trail up between her breast to her jawline “and that would suck because I have become quite comfortable here” he continued kissing until he got to her lips.

 

She grabbed his face “Ok we’ll keep it a secret” she kissed him fully then.

 

Sansa got up and walked to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She smiled at her reflection in her mirror, not because she looked particularly good with her hair in a bun that had fallen apart over night and the sleep that had collected in the corner of her eyes, no she smiled because Jon liked her no matter how she looked. The smell of coffee wafted into the bathroom and her stomach growled, Jon had set the table with a cup of coffee for him and tea for her. There was also what looked like toast but it was a little to charred to be sure. She smiled at him and got two bowls out for cereal.

 

“So when does everyone get back?” Jon asked.

 

“Well mom, dad, and Bran got back last night and everyone else should be here by lunch, mom is putting together a dinner for...”

 

“So we have extra time just to ourselves,” he interrupted, wrapping his arms around her waist as he hugged her from behind. He kissed her neck and she giggled turning in his arms s they were face to face.

 

“I guess it does” she mussed as he walked her backwards until her legs hit the couch and she was trapped between the couch and Jon’s body.

 

——————————

 

Everyone sat around the table chatting about their week.

 

“So how did skiing go?” Sansa asked Margery who was sitting beside her.

 

“She fell, a lot” Arya piped in from across that table, Rickon laughed and Bran smacked him in the arm.

 

“It’s true” she admitted moving food around on her plate.

 

“Yah but she fell beautifully, never has there been a more graceful faller” Robb leaned over and kissed Margaery on the cheek.

 

Sansa shot a look at Jon who was at the far end of the table. He was avoiding her look so she turned her focus back to Margaery who was clearly more comfortable talking about her lack of ski abilities now that Robb had made it clear that he did not care how well she could ski. 

 

Once everyone was done with their dinner and the chatter had subsided Cat announced that Bran had won the academic decathlon creating a frenzy of cheering as everyone got up to hug him. Sansa loved that her parents always encouraged them to celebrate every achievement.

 

“Congratulations” Sansa hugged Bran, stepping away fro the next person.

 

Robb messed up his hair “Your such a nerd.”

 

“You know who else is a nerd” Arya called from across the dinning room, she reached in her pocket and pulled out a slip of paper “I took your luggage last week and I found a little something.”

 

Arya waved the paper in the air and Sansa looked at her curiously, she was more annoyed that Arya had used her stuff with out asking. Then she noticed the paper and remembered the last time she had used her suitcase.

 

“Arya” she yelled running toward her “give that back!”

 

“Girls” their mother scolded.

 

Arya tried to raise the paper above her head to keep it away from Sansa, but Sansa was so much taller than her that it did not work in her favor and Sansa plucked it out of her hands, safely putting it in her pocket. Sansa could hear Arya laughing he butt off as she walked out the back door and down the path toward the lake house. She could here the crunching of leaves behind her and Jon ran up behind her and grabbed her hand.

 

“I don’t understand how anyone can be that irritating” she sighed as she leaned into Jon’s shoulder.

 

“Well I’m sure I could be more sympathetic if you showed me what was on that paper” he teased.

 

“No way.”

 

“Aww come on” he continued to plead and tease her until they got to the door of their place.

 

“Ok” she said finally giving in, taking it out of her pocket “promise you won’t make fun of me.”

 

“I would never” he whispered gently kissing her cheek as he lightly took it out of her hand. “What is is anyway?” he asked before her even opened it.

 

“It is my bucket list” he raised a single eyebrow “Jayne and I both made one when we went to camp our Sophomore year of high school.”

 

“Well lets see what sixteen year old Sansa wanted. Travel South” she noticed that he skipped the first one on the list when he read the second item out loud, “well you’ve done that” he said getting a pen and crossing it off the list.

 

“Get a C in school? What?”

 

“Robb never seem to try to get good grades it just happened and I always wanted to make my parents proud so I worked really hard to get all A’s, Arya on the other hand never seemed to try and was not bothered by her lack luster grades. I just always wanted to be as unbothered as Arya and so I thought if I could get a C and be fine with that then it would change my anal retentive attitude, but I could never bring myself to let my grades slide.”

 

“Well if you want to know a secret Robb had our friend Sam write one of his final papers because he was doing so bad, so don’t think he all perfect or anything” Jon laughed softly.

 

“No way” Sansa smiled pushing Jons shoulder playfully.

 

“Ok what’s next... go skinny dipping?” Sansa blushed and looked down at her lap.

 

“Well we can fix that right now” Jon said standing up and pulling on his shirt. 

 

“No. Are you crazy?” Sansa eyes went wi, still astonished by his chiseled body.

 

“Oh come on it is just the two of us, and it is on your bucket list so I think that means you have to do it” he pulls her off the couch and lifts her over his shoulder.

 

“Jon! Put me down” he carried her out the door and set her down where the lake lapped at the shore, continuing to take off his close until he was completely naked. She turned around hiding her face.

 

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before” he called “come on the water is perfect.”

 

She turned around and he had already submerged up to his neck. She sighed, bitting her bottom lip nervously, shaking her head she pulled her top off, unclasped her bra, shimmied out of her shorts and underwear and ran into the water until her feet could not touch the bottom. She swam up to him giving a little yelp of excitement and they both laughed.

 

“Sansa” his said in his raspy serious voice “I love you.”

 

She looked up into his dark lust filled eyes “I love you too.”

 

“Then I think we have checked off another thing off you list” he joked, trying to dampen down the sexual tension.

 

They swam closer to each other, Sansa wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He grabbed her waist and pulled her body closer so she could wrap her legs around his body, putting her in the perfect position for him to slide inside her. She gasped as his engorged member pushed into her opening. The water sloshed around them as they began to move rhythmically, Sansa was glad for the cooling sensation of the water lapping at her heated skin.

 

“I love you so much” Jon said as he released inside her.

 

There coupling had an entirely different feeling now that they had both shared their true feelings. Sansa cupped his head in her palms and kissed him gently, sensually, she was being consumed by their love burning within her. She new then that they would have to tell her family soon, but she was happy that he had convinced her to give them some more time for moments like this. They swam to shore and gathered up their cloths quickly heading inside. Sansa also picked up her list carefully folding it on the creases that were already deeply embedded into the paper.

 

“I do have one question about your list” Jon said from behind her, “it says you want to have a bed and breakfast, is that why you went to Dorne for college.”

 

“Yes, they have an excellent hospitality program.”

 

“Why a bed and breakfast?”

 

“When I was little and my mother would feel out of place in the North, my father would tell her that she brought the warmth that we needed and that she was the hearth of our family. She was so open and loving and wanted to share the North with her family from the South, I always want to do that too; to open a bed and breakfast up here in the North, to share everything that makes it home for people near and far. To be a bit of warmth in a land of ice and snow.”

 

Jon came up behind her and kissed her naked shoulder, “You’re my warmth.”

 

                                                                       Present

 

Sansa looked down at her list, she had not seen it since Jon left, he must of taken it with him. It was exactly the same except something had been added to the bottom.

 

_Bucket list_

~~_Fall in love_ ~~

~~_Travel South_ ~~

_Get a C in school_

~~_Go skinny dipping_ ~~

_Raise a family_

_Get a dog_

_Open a bed and breakfast_

**Forgive Me**


	8. So When You’re Near Me, Darlin’ Can’t You Hear Me

“Mommy” it sounded like Sansa was underwater or that she was being called from far away.

“Mommy” there it was again closer and with more authority. Sansa opened her eyes and immediately shut them again as her eyes were assaulted by a bright light. She moaned as pain radiated threw her body, all cumulating in her head.

“Mommy are you sick? Grandma said to let you sleep, she even dropped Beth off, but she said it was time to get ready. Mommy?” Sansa could feel the slight pressure of her daughters small hand gently caress her cheek. Sansa grabbed her hand and kisses it several times before she forces her eyes open and sat up plastering a smile on her face to reassure her daughter.

“I’m fine darling, just tiered and I need to take a nice warm shower” she pressed her lips to Lyanna’s forehead and breathed in her sweet sent.

Sansa got up steadying herself on the desk beside her. She walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, she looked relatively decent for having a major hangover. After a long shower and some carefully placed concealer she did not look half bad; however she did not look as drop dead gorgeous as she she wanted to when she came face to face with Jon again. She put on a deep blue a-line dress and braided her hair quickly before making sure Lyanna was ready.

Her head was no longer pounding but she put some Advil in her purse just in case. Heading down the stairs she could hear the hustle and bustle of her family, Lyanna was sitting with Rickon and Bran. Her father was sitting in his chair reading the paper while her mother was in the kitchen as always, peering over the island at Sansa.

“How was your night dear?” there was both judgment and concern in her voice.

“It was fine mother, I hope the girls behaved for you” Sansa knew that bringing up Lyanna would neutralize the tension.

“They were perfect as always” Cat cooed as she looked over at her youngest children playing with her granddaughter.

“Mommy, I want braids too” she hollered from the table.

Sansa turned away from her mother thankful their conversation got cut short, “Ok, run upstairs and get a brush and hair ties and I’ll do it real quick.”

As Lya ran upstairs Cat focused her attention back to Sansa “I hope you and Margaery are not feeling as bad as poor Ros was this morning. To much fun can be a bad thing you know, especially since you have a child; you can’t be a child yourself anymore.”

Sansa said nothing knowing that her mother would never understand that she did not have to live the same life that she had. In fact it would be impossible for her to live her mothers life since she had already screwed up so bad. Comments like these were the reason Sansa had left her parents house in the first place, she turned away facing the stairs and ignored her mothers pointed words. Lyanna came bounding down the stairs and Sansa quickly covered her hurt with a smile and got to work on her daughters hair.

————————

As soon as Sansa and her family walked into the dinning hall she was rushed by Margaery.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” she said out of breath and rushing her speech in a way that made it seem like one long word “I tried to move you but my mother insisted that you needed to sit next to the best man but I was able to move Lyanna, she will be sitting with the other children with my grandmother, who has been instructed to keep an extra close eye on her.”

Sansa took a deep breath and Margaery followed suit, “This is your time don’t worry about me, I will be perfectly civilized, but I do appreciate you moving Lya. I don't want them be around each other any more that absolutely necessary; besides she loves Olenna, we all do” Lady Olenna was the only Tyrell that Sansa actually liked, besides Margaery of course.

In a flurry of people Margaery’s mother embraced Cat in a light hug before sighing “I’m so glad you finally made it, I was nervous you were going to miss the whole event!”

Sansa could see her mothers eye narrow and her fists curl, her mother would never use violence to solve a problem but it comforted Sansa to know that her mother was not as perfect as she tried projecting. The conversation continued around her as she looked to the head table where she would be sitting, there was no one sitting there yet but most people were still mingling. She dropped Lyanna of at her table and chatted with Lady Olenna, before she slowly made her way to her own place.

Sitting there waiting made her question the need for a rehearsal dinner at all. Margaery was standing in a circle of her family when she looked back at Sansa and rolled her eye and then pretended to be asleep. Sansa laughed at her friends antics, apparently even the bride though this was torture. Then a shadow appeared across her place setting and she knew her own hell was about to set in; she looked up slowly and there he was.

Jon looked even better than she remembered, his hair was tied up in a half up half down style that he had always preferred and his suit could not hide the muscle that had appeared over the last five years.

“Sansa” her name sounded almost like a prayer on his lips and it made her stomach flutter.

“Mr. Snow” she said coldly putting on her mask of indifference.

“Sansa, pease” this time it was more desperate, almost a whine.

“We both know that we are here for Robb and Margaery, nothing else. There is no need to reminisce, besides I would not want to you to get in trouble with anyone.”

“Sansa...”

“Excuse, I have to save Margaery” with that Sansa turned on her heals and left.

She had not expected to be hit with the same pain she had felt five years ago, but here she was fleeing to the restroom to hide from the man who had broken her heart.

Five Years Ago

Sansa and Margaery had been shopping all day, and as much fun as they had she was missing Jon and hoped that his guys day with Robb was over. She walked down the path to the lake house, gently swinging her bags, thinking about what tonight would hold for her and Jon. She was excited for him to see her in the skimpy lingerie that Margaery had insisted she buy, which meant that their night was mostly planned. She walked up to the house when she notice all the windows and the front door were wide open and voices were wafting out. Sansa stopped just out side and readied herself to spend time with Robb and Jon.

“So your leaving soon huh” her brothers voice drifted to her.

Sansa did not want to snoop but she also wanted to know how long Jon would be with her, since he always evaded the question when she asked.

“Yah, I wish I could stay but” he sounded sad about it and she smiled knowing that she was the reason he wanted to stay, “I was only supposed to stay two weeks, my family is throwing a bitch fit that I have stayed this long.”

“Plus I bet that fiancé of yours is missing you?” Robb laughed but Sansa heart fell as the words rang in her head.

“I doubt she even notices, she is to busy planning the most extravagant wedding ever. I swear she is happier about having a wedding then the actual getting married part.”

“Oh come on man, she’s so hot and besides...”

Sansa could not listen to anymore, she stumbled away dropping the bags in her hand along the way. Once she was far enough she ran to he main house and to her car. An hour later and Sansa was just driving, she did not know where she was or where she was going, just that she had to get away. She had given her heart and soul to Jon and he had been engaged to another women this whole time. She pulled over when she could no longer see threw her tears. The phone beside her started to ring and she looked at the name that lit up on the screen, Jon. She could not go back, she could not face him, she needed to find a place to hide away. Sansa picked up the phone and called Jeyne,

“Hello” her friend said chipperly.

“Jeyne can I come over I need a quiet place to go.”

“Well I’m not home right now but you can still head over there. Is everything ok?”

“Yah, just Arya again” she lied, it was easy to believe since Sansa had run to Jeyne’s many times throughout their childhood when ever Arya was being mean.

“Ok, well I should be home in about three hours and I’ll bring wine.”

Sansa laughed through her tears and said goodbye to her friend. It only took twenty minutes for Sansa to get to her friends house. About an hour later she heard a light knock on the door, in her haze of distress she did not think to look at who was at the door before she opened it on the other side of the door Jon stood out of breath and clearly worried.

“Oh my god” he embraced her “I have been looking everywhere for you. When I saw the shopping bags on the ground I got worried and then no one knew where you were. Margaery said you might be over here, what are you doing here... have you been crying... what happened.”

Sansa looked into his grey eye, they were so full of concern but all she saw was lies and deceit. She pushed out of his arms “Are you engaged?”

He just stood there dumbfounded “I heard you and Robb talking. Your leaving to get married?”

“You don’t understand...”

She did not know what she expected, for him to deny the whole thing, to tell her he loves her, for him to propose to her; whatever she had wanted it was not this. His words had enraged her, set off a spark she could no longer control.

“Don’t understand. I think I understand perfectly! I understand that you wanted a summer fling before you spend the rest of your life with someone else, I understand that you needed to keep it a secret because Robb knew about your gorgeous fiancé back home, I understand that I was nothing but a play thing to you, that you are not the man I thought you were.”

“Sansa no” he tried to grab her arm but she ripped it away from him “please I love you.”

“Are you getting married?” she yelled.

“It is complicated, my family...”

“Are you getting married to some one else?” she was hysterical and inconsolable.

“Yes, but I...”

“You need to leave” her voice was now cold and detached.

“Sansa...”

“I don’t mean this house either, you should leave the North. Go back home, like you were supposed to weeks ago. I’m going to stay here tonight, so you can pack but you should be gone by tomorrow.”

She pushed him gently out the open door, he was crying too now. It was the last thing she saw before she shut the door and ran into the bedroom.

Present

Sansa took a few deep breaths to collect herself before she returned to the dinning hall. She looked around, Olenna was sitting at an empty table, Sansa rushed over, “Where is Lya?”

“Don’t worry dear she is just outside playing tag with the other children” Olenna said soothingly.

Sansa walked out into the garden, it was still light out with the setting sun falling being the mountains. The sight in front of her was another punch in the gut, Jon was running around with the children. He was clearly it, as the children all ran screaming from him, Lyanna among them. Her head filled with beautiful visions of Jon reading books to Lya before bed, teaching her how to make the perfect snowball, the three of them eating blueberry pancakes in the mornings, picking out a puppy together, cuddling on the couch went Lyanna was fist learning to roll over, or take her first steps, or say her first words; but as her imagination progressed her anger sparked. It had not been her lies that had keep them apart it had been his, then like being submerged in ice water, realization hit her that is was just as much her fault that he had not been in their lives. Her lies had kept them apart just as much as his had, if not more and this weekend she would have to face those lies for the first time in five years.

Jon had caught Lya and spun her in the air, Lya immediately tagged Rickon who singled out Bran ignoring all of the other children.

“What’s your name?” Jon asked.

“Lyanna.”

“That is a pretty name. My name is Jon, my mothers name was Lyanna to.”

“Wow really” her daughter could talk about anything with anybody, but at this moment she wished Lya was a little more afraid of strangers.

Lyanna looked around then and made a beeline for Sansa, “Mommy, mommy. His mommy’s name was my name.”

“That is interesting” she said as she lifted her daughter into her arms.

Shock was all over Jon’s face and it would have made Sansa giggle if she was not so terrified that he would connect the dots.

“How old are you Lyanna?”

“Four and a half.”

Sansa composed herself as if this information should not matter at all but she could see the connection in his eyes.

“Dinner is about to start, are you hungry?” Sansa was now only focusing on the little girl in her arms, trying to ignore the life altering information that was now out in the open. Her daughter nodded and she immediately walked away from Jon who had yet to close his mouth.


End file.
